Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
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