Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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