Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Please remind me next time not to call the ex who cheated on me to cry about the ex who forgave me for putting him in prison. It would be much appreciated.
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
Randomize
