She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
