we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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