i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
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I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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