Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
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I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
That's what you get for dating construction workers you meet in tunnels.
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
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Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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