i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
