the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
Sally, Your mom and my mom hooked up in college, we must uphold this tradition.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
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