It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
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