I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Someone just said “I need to use up this money before I’m tits up under the dirt” so I think I’m going to start using that in my daily vocabulary.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
