Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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