I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
