it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
You ever have a fart follow you around?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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