I'm drive I can fine osifer
playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
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