I just had to pull over at a starbucks to throw up in the bathroom. They really should not have let me be a lawyer.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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