dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
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