I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
I was working er so they smashed a vodka bottle over dan's head so they'd have an excuse to visit
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
