i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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