you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Randomize
