im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I hit a child with a fudge sickle from a moving vehicle after he flipped me off, I feel like a God. Tell no one. My partner didn't see it.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
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