Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Found a girl that was gonna make out with 25 people for her 25th birthday. I was like #12. Made top half!
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
Randomize
