i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
