I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
