i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
We are both federal employees and Obama gave us a four-day weekend to lie in bed. Do you know how many orgasms that will be? I knew there was a reason I voted for this guy.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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