I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
Randomize
