i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
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