Texts From Last Night

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  (305): View more from Florida

  I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.

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  (305): I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it. http://tfl.nu/u417
  Replies (5) Good night (1565) Bad night (639) Order T-Shirt
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love

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  (610): Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love http://tfl.nu/hgdf
  Replies (86) Good night (7266) Bad night (1624) Order T-Shirt
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.

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  (401): Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex. http://tfl.nu/0okh
  Replies (22) Good night (562) Bad night (4922) Order T-Shirt
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work

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  (201): I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work http://tfl.nu/3682
  Replies (16) Good night (3197) Bad night (982) Order T-Shirt
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  (707): View more from California

  i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.

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  (707): i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present. http://tfl.nu/pwew
  Replies (24) Good night (5014) Bad night (1303) Order T-Shirt
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.

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  (413): Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever. http://tfl.nu/3v3s
  Replies (54) Good night (8740) Bad night (1377) Order T-Shirt
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  (941): View more from Florida

  My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.

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  (941): My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways. http://tfl.nu/nnm9
  Replies (19) Good night (6263) Bad night (1058)
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  (765): View more from Indiana

  let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.

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  (765): let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment. http://tfl.nu/novi
  Replies (17) Good night (6966) Bad night (870)
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  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.

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  (508): I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle. http://tfl.nu/gqi2
  Replies (8) Good night (5050) Bad night (1164)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?

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  (785): In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out? http://tfl.nu/d8g6
  Replies (6) Good night (1163) Bad night (3349) Order T-Shirt
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  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.

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  (267): I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night. http://tfl.nu/8jcd
  Replies (12) Good night (1969) Bad night (878) Order T-Shirt
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.

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  (570): i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition. http://tfl.nu/mkq9
  Replies (16) Good night (5271) Bad night (700) Order T-Shirt
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.

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  (970): I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me. http://tfl.nu/ryot
  Replies (7) Good night (1976) Bad night (629) Order T-Shirt
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?

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  (815): My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday? http://tfl.nu/m0r9
  Replies (3) Good night (279) Bad night (684) Order T-Shirt
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  (818): View more from California

  You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers

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  (818): You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers http://tfl.nu/8klr
  Replies (3) Good night (606) Bad night (209)

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