Texts From Last Night

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  (614): View more from Ohio

  You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.

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  (614): You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat. http://tfl.nu/8yi0
  Replies (36) Good night (866) Bad night (3020)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass.

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  (704): You know the commpass Jack Sparrow has? The one that just points at whatever you want? Thas pretty much my moral compass. http://tfl.nu/jig4
  Replies (18) Good night (5383) Bad night (595)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg

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  (612): Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg http://tfl.nu/5ras
  Replies (19) Good night (810) Bad night (3762)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.

  (1-403): View more from Alberta, CA

  at least i was looking out for everybody

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  (403): You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone. (1-403): at least i was looking out for everybody http://tfl.nu/ilsz
  Replies (8) Good night (4536) Bad night (600)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.

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  (206): Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though. http://tfl.nu/6g66
  Replies (27) Good night (1809) Bad night (5631)
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  (315): View more from New York

  I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse

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  (315): I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse http://tfl.nu/h4gb
  Replies (37) Good night (3188) Bad night (872)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night

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  (905): i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night http://tfl.nu/m366
  Replies (12) Good night (5640) Bad night (987)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.

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  (412): remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories. http://tfl.nu/emk4
  Replies (11) Good night (5679) Bad night (1127)
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  (720): View more from Colorado

  I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.

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  (720): I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group. http://tfl.nu/a06b
  Replies (7) Good night (5459) Bad night (727)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod

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  (859): i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod http://tfl.nu/ur38
  Replies (11) Good night (5523) Bad night (792)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.

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  (603): I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part. http://tfl.nu/7yrx
  Replies (8) Good night (5106) Bad night (1018)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.

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  (312): This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck. http://tfl.nu/7nbz
  Replies (28) Good night (5071) Bad night (2183)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.

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  (215): The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng. http://tfl.nu/fp0t
  Replies (14) Good night (4678) Bad night (755)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm

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  (203): Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm http://tfl.nu/zhmu
  Replies (9) Good night (913) Bad night (1665)
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  (701): View more from North Dakota

  This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth

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  (701): This holiday season is going to be rough between people coming home for the holidays and the already regulars on my list I might have to clone my vagina to make sure I get everyone for all they are worth http://tfl.nu/r917
  Replies (12) Good night (824) Bad night (534)

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