drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
when the repo soundtrack came on in the middle of us having sex i realized it was about time that i clear out my itunes library
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
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