Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
You look just like Jennifer Aniston on food.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
she just called me the flavor packet to her ramen noodles. get me the fuck out of here.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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