There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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