I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Desperately trying not to throw up over the side of the ferry back to CT. Can't be the first one of the season.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Randomize