His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
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