Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
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