I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
