I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
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