He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize