Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
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