fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
