it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
There's a 35% chance I'm still residually drunk from last night.
And you say you're not good with numbers...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Randomize
