Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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