these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
