I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
Randomize
