Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I skipped work to stalk him.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
I went looking for them and I pulled my pants down and peed on the lawn. I found my phone in the same spot in the morning.
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
