nut hugger
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
I deserve to be covered in dicks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
You haven't lived until you've snorted coke from a Pharaoh's hand baby
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
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