Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT HOLY SHIT
So I just ran in to the Couger you saw me take home last month who i haven't talked to since then at Wawa and she was PISSED.. APPARENTLY i fucked her niece last week
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
