part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
