Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
Randomize
