So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
My bed became a clown car for his family....I'm not ready to get married
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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