Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize