Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
i'm sure god appreciates how great my boobs look during this fine christmas eve mass
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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