No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
