i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Remember middle school health class where we used to say that when we lost our vcards we would be on the pill, using a condom, and have had our partners tested first? We were so optimistic.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
