And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
