You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
OMFG. JUST WALKED IN ON A DUDE JERKING IT IN THE MCDONALDS BATHROOM
Stall or urinal?
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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