That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I woke up this morning with my shirt on upside down.
You mean inside out.
No, upside down. I ripped the neck hole in the process of getting it around my waist.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Step one: We finally agreed on an au pair that we both wanna fuck.
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