Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
don't go back without me... they'll know i'm pooping.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Sooooooo Your wife and your girlfriend are making cat noises at one another via text
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
