Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
